How long it has been since I last held you –
silent being, grand and untouched.
Recall my memories, sing to me
fragments of heartbreak and harmony as
my soul is not lost in you, though apart.
You let me weep, whisper and roar till
the voice in my heart I could not feel; nor
hear the pain in my mind. You wrote colour
onto the pages of my grey-toned life,
and embraced me as I embraced you, kind.
Only you knew my secrets all those years.
How vulnerable I feel to return once more here,
our tips grazing, hanging semibreves in the air.
I love you. I will love you forever, a lifetime and more.
Please know that, and endeavour to love me back too
wherever I am and no matter
how long it has been since I last held you.
I hoard extreme levels of elation and frustration, never one to shy away from the spectrum, so with my piano as my diary during my formative years, I could never have imagined that I would ever part from it. Sadly, I had resolved to stop playing it in an effort to heal from the wounds this attachment left me with when I was made to leave the hope of being a musician for a world of numbers that don’t make sense, jumbled together with an abundance of tears. This piece is written as a letter to my old friend and lover, whom I occasionally find very, very hard to leave behind.